I turn to the internet and find a family cat was accidentally donated while nestled in an old recliner. The cat survived.
I keep surfing and learn that heirs can now click-and-ship us to the afterlife with tasteful caskets sold online. Or, if you choose cremation, you can choose an urn trimmed with leopard spots, a lighthouse, or a three-dimensional buffalo.
I also find an Arizona rescue team found pigeon wearing rhinestone vest. If I had a nickel for every time I saw a pigeon wearing a rhinestone vest, I'd have one nickel.
Now that I can read again, I turn to the internet and find 54 billion, 689 million things to do, say, think, see, try, buy, eat, hear, wear, go, know and click today. These include which strawberry would do best in your yard, which mint makes the best mojito, and which big-leaf maple can’t cross state lines.
Maybe you are a calm soul who has lived your life, even those regrettable moments, with a semblance of humor and grace.
There could still be a few problems, though. For example, last year, a twenty-year-old contestant on “Mongolia’s Got Talent” became a viral video star and you did not. There was a war. There was another war. Then a huge hunk of land formerly known as Antarctica dove off a cliff.
You aren’t pretty enough. Or thin enough. You are female. The Advanced Placement Committee selected someone else. You didn’t write A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius. You didn’t write An Illuminating Manuscript. You wrote an Eliminated Manuscript. Or perhaps more than one.
Writers use 26 letters to spell an infinite mix of meltdowns, shutdowns, breakdowns, send-ups, screw-ups, shake-ups, break-ups, takeovers, makeovers, close-ups, cover-ups, con jobs, nut jobs. Deploy and re-deploy words into combat zones a few inches wide. Put words through the ringer and roll them out transformed into sparkling gems of thought. Perhaps minus gems or thought. Or perhaps with some of each.
You should see me when I don't have a broken back!
Oh my dear! I am so honored by your words.