Intellectually simulating

(that was NOT a typo)

Halloween is almost here, and, if you're a Halloween fanatic or a Hallmark occasion addict, this is the time to start panicking. But if you're not, you can just chill.

Which somehow brings us to the brain. Any brain, including yours, is made up of atoms that were forged in the hearts of countless, far-flung stars billions of years ago. 

If you’re Tibetan, your word for “heart” is the same as your mind for “mind” because you believe the mind is located in the heart. I am semi-Tibetan.

In other news:

* A new miracle drug has potential “life-threatening side effects” that, at any time during treatment or even after treatment, can kill you.

* An asteroid the size of Golden Gate Bridge is hurtling toward earth. It could kill all of us.

* You either should or shouldn’t put vaginal estrogen cream on your face.

* The Amazon, which sustains some 30 million people across eight countries and is the world’s largest river system, is drying up.

Meanwhile, in really big news, a pumpkin farmer named Travis someone or other, who proudly displayed his 2,471-pound pumpkin, won the Safeway World Championship Pumpkin Weigh-Off in Half Moon Bay, California.

Perhaps the pumpkin feels a bit punky. It can’t issue a press release. It can’t call a press conference. It can’t host a podcast. It can't speak. It can’t read. It can’t run for office. Because it’s a pumpkin.

This isn’t Travis

I recently took a road trip to see my friend Abby in New York State. I saw interesting things after GPS advised me to go north south north south north south for about an hour before getting me to where I needed to be. I think my GPS was having a panic attack or something like that.

At one point somewhere in Pennsylvania, I passed a sign for Messiah University and I'd like to say I saw it just as the GPS started working again, but actually the GPS started working again just before I saw the sign.

Also at about that time, I passed a sign for “Harris Street Mountain Road” which I thought was interesting cuz I've never seen a “street mountain” or heard of one either.