Jonathan takes a selfie

...a dispatch from bewilderness

In my first life, I was my entire family within 900 miles. Now I’m my entire family within 3000 miles. I live on my own. When I eat, my entire family eats. 

I’ve only been up five seconds and must decide what to click first: The man who mowed a message he hopes his ex-wife will see — or the man who built a secret world for seahorses at the bottom of a bay.

In weather news, a cloud of volcanic ash is flying through my head. OK, enough of that. And now to quantum mechanics, the heat of black holes, and how humans fit into that. We are stardust. Ok, now, enough of that.

Jonathan took a selfie. (Maybe)

There was a big birthday recently when Jonathan, the world's oldest tortoise, marked his 192nd with fanfare and salad cake. He lived through two world wars, eight British monarchs and forty-two U.S. presidents.

His lifetime has included the first phone call (1876), the first skyscraper (1885), the first power-driven flight (1903), and the first people to walk on the moon (1969). According to his vet, "In spite of his age, Jonathan still has good libido and is seen frequently to mate with Emma and sometimes Fred.”

A survey of Britons found that belief in heaven has fallen but belief in hell has remained consistent.

Back here in the U.S.A, robo taxis are legal which means, in many cities, you can hail a cab from no one.

In other news, the number of nukes is growing while the number of tampons is shrinking, and it’s mourning again in America.

But please keep hope alive. Speaking of hope, once or twice a year, I go to a beauty store to buy a miracle.  I use each potion for a week or two, then tuck it on a shelf with other miracles.  I buy miracle brain pills, too. They don’t seem to work.

In other news, small-tooth sawfish are spinning around and beaching themselves in south Florida. Add planetary meltdowns, earthquakes, floods and wars. But Jonathan is doing fine.

Jonathan taking a walk