Max the Cat

... A dispatch from bewilderness

Say you could “slice” time into vertical units, like 24 hours, or 1 week or 1 year. Let’s take 1 unit of 24 hours.

On that day:

Max the Cat gets a PhD in Vermont

A volcano spews lava all over Iceland

Transatlantic air travel is canceled as a result

Mrs. Evangeline Harris bakes the world’s tallest cake or thinks she has

Wyoming disappears, or part of it, anyway. It was called the Teton Pass.

Media covers the cake

On another day:

Japan has an earthquake

Japan has a nuclear meltdown

The world holds its breath

World leaders opine in measured, useless rhetoric

Dubai gets flooded by one year’s worth of rain in less than one day

Little Johnny hits a home run for the first time

Little Janie does the same

Susie gets her first period

A sinkhole 20 feet wide swallows Jeff Bush, as he sleeps in Seffner, Florida, inhaling Jeff and his bedroom, too

What does this mean?

If you’re Susie, you are scared.

If you’re Miyako in Japan, your children are missing.

If you’re Jeff, you’re dead.

If you’re Johnny or Janie or Max the Cat, it’s a great (even purr-fect) day.