Landing on a Comet
...plus an amnesic guide to I forget what
Not long ago, humans landed a spacecraft on a comet, found a way to mass-produce pancreatic cells, sequenced the first spider genomes, and baked a few hundred thousand pumpkin pies. Make that a few million.
Those are real stories that really happened. So are:
*Pie Flies Sky High for Science.
*Man Hammers 38 Nails with His Head in Pursuit of World Record.
*Maker of Durex Condoms Also Owns Baby Food Brand.
I swear, content is real, though headlines are mine. Speaking of headlines, in my first life I made headlines and deadlines for TV and magazines. That was called making heads. Then I was hit by a drunk with a truck and acquired a Traumatic Brain Injury.
Traumatic Brain Injuries are sort of like hurricanes in your head. Or tornados. Parts of your brain blow up. This means you get things confused. I mean, I do.
For instance, things freighted with vast significance get confused with things that should be freighted with vast insignificance, while things with vast insignificance get confused with things that should be freighted with vast significance.
For instance, I mix up one nurse named Tiffany B. with another nurse named named Tiffany T. One of them wears leopard-print clogs, but I forget which one. So much for headlines. You have to get stuff both written and right.
Researchers in Manchester, England, found that potatoes are a better bonding agent than human blood for manufacturing bricks to build structures on the moon and Mars. Bear this in mind if you’re building there. Speaking of bears, Alaska’s Katmai National Park and Preserve postponed a major event after Bear #469 killed Bear #402.
If you’re happy and you know it, you probably live in Louisiana. I learned that on The Today Show. I also learned why turning down the heat in the bedroom can boost your metabolism. The heat in my bedroom was turned down a few decades ago during the Carter administration. Or the Clinton administration. I get C’s confused. Then I jump to P’s, which brings us back to pie.
In I’ve-Become-an-Antique News, managers in the Old Age Industrial Complex have been hiring high-priced consultants to preview and produce Active Shooter’s Drills in old folks’ homes (which, of course, are not called old folks’ homes). I now live in one which has a name I sometimes forget. Along with stuff like if it’s October or May.
Thank you for reading and for sharing.
Hi Judith! it's hurricane season, and like you, I often described and even made artwork to illustrate how my brain injury felt like a " hurricane in the brain." walking around like that was and still can be quite destabilizing. all those pieces thrashing around, right? and no one can see what we're dealing with. are we not brave? don't know about you, but I often need a lie-down.