Only the semi-ultimate best
...a dispatch from bewilderness
Once in a while, I remember something. For example, Johnny Carson said mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them by Christmas. Each year brings moments we might prefer to erase, others we might want to live again, and a handful we might choose to do differently, if we only could.
Improbably, this brings us to fish. Traditionally, the vast majority of fish that people consume has come from the ocean. But in 2022, humanity hit a significant milestone: Seafood companies began to raise more fish in factories — farm factories — than they caught in the sea.
In the US, Atlantic salmon begin their lives as eggs buried a foot under freshwater riverbeds in Maine, where they remain for six months until they hatch and emerge in search of food. Then they make a long journey while dining out at sea. If you believe in miracles, that’s one, right there.
My train of thought, such as it is, is interrupted by successive emails that say “how to tell if it’s heartburn or a heart attack” and how to NOT let “fraud put a freeze on my Christmas festivities.” The next says how NOT to spend Christmas in an ER.
But back to salmon. Instead of migrating hundreds of miles like wild salmon, farmed salmon are reduced to swimming in tiny circles for years. I’ve swum in pretty small circles myself.
More interruptions. Ah, I can also find the most iconic crime films set during Christmas, 10 perfect murder movies set during Christmas, and “10 classic rock songs so bad they’re good.”
Still more interruptions. A few hundred reminders on year-end sales, plus hottest ever year-end sales, plus hottest-ever last chance end-of-year sales plus coziest stocking stuffers. Plus the Ultimate Best Books of 2025, not to be confused by scores of lists received in the last few days/weeks of the (evidently) just Semi-Ultimate Best.
You are such amazingly reliable fun. Thank you.
"Rosemary for remembrance." I love reading about your remembrances, and also the ones you've forgotten which somehow manage to make their way into your little stories. Thanks as always for your delightful take on reality, Judith. 🎄