Sneakers appear

a dispatch from bewilderness

You click on a pair of sneakers…and they stalk you online for the rest of your life.

You check the weather, you see the sneakers.

You check your inbox, you see the sneakers.

Stock quotations, you see the sneakers. (I do not check stock quotations, but maybe you do.)

Movie times, you see the sneakers.

Order out? You see the sneakers.

Whatever you click, sneakers appear. Whenever you click, same.

No matter how tone deaf. No matter how abrupt. No matter what they interrupt.

Something collapses, sneakers appear. Something else collapses, sneakers appear.

The war in Ukraine, sneakers appear.

Drought, floods, fire, sneakers appear.

Wherever they LEAST belong, sneakers appear.

And privacy? Fuhgeddaboudit.

You don’t know them, but, they know you. They know what your dog eats, if he’s got bad breath, flatulence, suffers from stress or feels depressed..

They know your bra size

If you wear thongs or hipsters

If you buy products that promise to “anti-age”

(They may even see the the shelf where you stash other “miracles” that also fail to work.)

They know if you’ve got bedbugs, fleas, termites, cellulite or psoriasis.

They know what you’d like to slim, trim, tighten, brighten,

Lengthen, strengthen, hide.

They know your dream home, dream car, dream date,

If you tend to fabricate,

If you meditate, medicate, and what you should moderate.

Your bedroom, they know it well,

Your pillow, your sheets, your fantasies

If you vote and how

If you read and where

If you’re regular

If you’re somewhat cheap or very

If you avoid wheat, meat, dairy

If you have two kids or one

If you want three kids or none

They know which you’d prefer:

More sleep or more sex,

More car or more hair

And,

of course,

no matter what,

your sneakers are there.