You manage so beautifully to get a whole biography, with side characters, in just a few lines. I feel as though I met your dad. That is, I recognize him, but probably no one knew him. And no one was ever what he wanted. What would a note tell us, us survivors of our father's suicides? "So there!"? "It's your fault!"? "Take that!"? "I didn't love you enough."?
A difficult read. But true for too many. My parents weren’t ready, 20 and 15. A guy home from the war and a child. Grandpa was quiet and distant, like Dad, like me. Mom grew into her role. Dad and went fishing and hunting. They never came to my sports games. Later, he would ask how my car was running. He cared. I held his hand when he died. I cried.
Not sure what to say. So you remember some things, but they’re mostly impressions, or as you say, perspectives? In any case, I feel your pain and sadness … and you’re not alone. But you have moved on - congratulations. I learned just recently that my daughter was really lonely as a child … as a single parent, I was oblivious. I hope she can forgive me.
"Nietzsche said more than a century ago that there are no facts, only perspectives on facts." I needed that, as I struggle with facts and truth differing in my memory. "There are no facts, only perspectives on facts." I think I will tape that on the wall above my computer.
You manage so beautifully to get a whole biography, with side characters, in just a few lines. I feel as though I met your dad. That is, I recognize him, but probably no one knew him. And no one was ever what he wanted. What would a note tell us, us survivors of our father's suicides? "So there!"? "It's your fault!"? "Take that!"? "I didn't love you enough."?
A difficult read. But true for too many. My parents weren’t ready, 20 and 15. A guy home from the war and a child. Grandpa was quiet and distant, like Dad, like me. Mom grew into her role. Dad and went fishing and hunting. They never came to my sports games. Later, he would ask how my car was running. He cared. I held his hand when he died. I cried.
This is stunning, perfect, an arrow - and the photos ! « He didn’t leave a note ».
Beautiful
Nicely done. You need say no more. But fucking wow.
Sad to learn your dad wasn’t loving and accepting… you made me curious about the parts you left out…. Beautifully written, as others have said.
Not sure what to say. So you remember some things, but they’re mostly impressions, or as you say, perspectives? In any case, I feel your pain and sadness … and you’re not alone. But you have moved on - congratulations. I learned just recently that my daughter was really lonely as a child … as a single parent, I was oblivious. I hope she can forgive me.
A heartbreaking story, written with just the right words.💕
I agree with Susan. Sad and yet like hymn.
Powerfully sad.
Very poignant. I, too had a distant relationship with my father.
"Nietzsche said more than a century ago that there are no facts, only perspectives on facts." I needed that, as I struggle with facts and truth differing in my memory. "There are no facts, only perspectives on facts." I think I will tape that on the wall above my computer.
Except, maybe for a trip to Golden’s Bridge?
Heartbreakingly beautiful. Thank you.